13 posts from 2006

So I've been majorly busy every day for the past week.  Just lots of things going on at once so that I've been doing a lot of running around but feeling like I'm not getting much done.  Anyway, Saturday was another of those days. 

I had been up late Friday night because Ang and BF K went to a 'club' in the area to hear some high school bands which were playing and I didn't pick them until after 11:00 and then we all know that I just can't seem to ever go to sleep at a decent hour... So, I slept in a bit (yay!) on Saturday and then got up and did my whole routine and started doing a couple of things around the house when Ang asked if I could drive her and K to the mall.  I told them that I could bring them around 1:00 and drop them off, and then go back and pick them up at 4:00 since our mall has a 'no one under age 18 without an adult' policy after 4:00 pm on Friday and Saturday nights.  (I actually like the policy...too many large groups of kids had been going there and causing trouble.)

So, we were going to leave but first I ran the dog across the street to quickly potty and then when I tried to get her to come back in, she dawdled for a minute so I had to sort of coax her, while the girls waited by the car.  (Trust me, this is relavent to the story...I'm not having an ADD moment and getting off track!)

We finally got going and we were driving along, listening to the radio, talking and singing.  Well, we were about two minutes away from the mall, singing along with J.T. to 'Sexy Back" when suddenly,

WHOA!!! 

And I hear myself saying, "Oh Shit!!" and I'm laying on the brakes, which lock up and I skid off the road so as to avoid the THREE CAR ACCIDENT which just happened DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF ME!!

Swear.  I was just going around this curve when I see this pickup truck coming in the opposite direction suddenly start spinning around and BAM!, he slams into the car two vehicles ahead of me, bounces off of him and BAM!! again, to the pickup truck in front of me!!  I was sure that I was next so I steered off to the side of the road and hit my brakes, problem was, it was waayyyy wet and slippery because we had had some major rain and wind that morning, so the roads were just a slick mess.  I ended up avoiding being hit but then we noticed the major gasoline, fluids, etc. pouring out of the guys pickup truck so Ang was all "Mom!  You need to back up!!  What if that blows up?"  Problem was, I couldn't back up because the guy behind me had locked up and slid right into place only a couple of feet away from my back bumper and he was getting out of his car so I very calmly stated..."Oh hell.  Get. Out.  Get out, get out, get out of the car!"  And then I made them go way back on this path away from the road because aside from the fact that we were worried about the trucking blowing up, I was even more worried about someone else coming from behind us and smashing into our cars and the girls being there.

So, the weirdest thing was, the guy behind me?  His daughter got out of their car too and what do I hear her shout?  "Ahhh!!!  Ang!!  K!!!" and I turn around and they're all hugging.  Turns out they're friends from school and the girl actually lives in our neighborhood.

Anyway, nothing blew up.  Seven people were taken to the hospital but none were too serious, I don't think. 

And me?  After I called 911 and tried to get the guy with the cut on his head to sit down and stop pacing (he wouldn't), the paramedics came and I figured that my job there was done, so we piled back into the car, pulled back onto the road, turned around and started to head back down the road when, after going about two feet I said,

'Uh, oh, I think I have a flat."

So, off the road we pulled, about 50 feet away from the accident and sure enough...my right front tire was totally flat.

 

"Not to worry.", I said.  And I whipped out my cell phone and called AAA.

We've had them for years and this is the first time that I've had to use them.  The woman on the phone was so very nice and she told me what tow service would be coming to rescue us (well, change the tire, but still) so I assured the girls that all would be well, our truck would be there shortly.  And I walked over and told the old fireman who was directing traffic that if my tow guy came, to make sure that he let him in.

So, while the paramedics and fire and policemen were attending to the accident victims, the girls and I patiently waited for our tow truck.

 

And waited. And waited....

The victims were all loaded up and whisked off to the hospital.

 

And we waited...

The cars were pulled onto wreckers, one by one.

And we waited...

The glass and debris were carefully swept up off of the road.

And we waited...

 

Sand was put down to absorb the spilled fluids.

And we waited...

The fire trucks, rescue trucks, and volunteer vehicles left little by little..

The old fireman wished us luck finding our tow-guy, as the firetruck came and picked him up and off they drove.

The road was reopened and people were once again driving too fast around the wet curve.

And still we waited.

The last lone firefighter came sauntering back to his truck (which was parked near us) to change out of his gear and go home.  He talked to us for a few minutes (in his very sexy Irish accent) and told us that his fire chief had been in the first car that had been hit.  And that he had just gotten out of the hospital a couple of days before after undergoing neck surgery.  And that an eight year old girl had been in the truck in front of us and she had received some trauma to her stomach or possibly her ribs.

I watched him too drive away and it was another fifteen minutes before our tow truck came to help us out.

 

And I realized that any other time, I would have been absolutely steaming at the fact that it had taken him so long to get there.  But this time?  All I could think about was how lucky we were that we were not one or two cars ahead...because it would have been us who would have gotten hit.  And who knows what kind of injuries we may have gotten.  It was a big truck.  And we were in a car. 

 And how lucky for us that Samantha had dawdled for a minute when I had tried to bring her back in the house after she had pottied.  If she had come right in, we would have left a minute sooner.

So yeah, we got a flat tire.  And yeah, we had to wait forever the guy to come and fix it.  But so what.  We were lucky that all we had was the flat tire...and I found that I wasn't upset by it one bit.  

A bad thing happened tonight.  Cesar Millan (aka 'The Dog Whisperer') started his new season tonight with not just one hour of his amazingness...but two!  (In case you're wondering, this is bad because now I will get nothing done around here on Monday nights!)  I was mesmerized.  I had never heard of him until late last year when someone on another blog mentioned him and raved about how unbelievably awesome he is.  But I could never seem to find when any of his shows were on so I only watched him briefly on-line advertising the show.

 

Well, let me tell you, if you are a dog owner, or thinking of becoming one, you should definitely check him out.  He goes to people's homes and usually within a matter of just a couple of hours, he has completely changed the negative behavior in the dog.  More accurately, he changes the owners behavior which in turn changes the dogs behavior. 

And since we recently adopted a middle aged Shepherd into our home (who really is amazingly well behaved, aside from a few quirks), after watching the show I was all like "Okay, I'm the pack leader...she will do what I want, when I want it" and feeling all authoritative.  So I took her out for her nightly stroll and I put into practice some of the things Cesar says that you should do to reinforce in them that you are the leader.  

And she actually went along with the changes I made about who walks out the door first, and not getting ahead of me while on the leash.  She was really good.

And then, we came home and I got on the computer and she took her bone into the hallway and I heard her happily chewing it apart.  Except that a few minutes later, I found out that it wasn't her bone.  It was one of her tennis balls.  And that ripping sound that I thought was her rawhide bone was really her tearing the crap out of the fuzzy tennis ball covering.  Like, she tore it completely off.  Into about eight pieces. 

The good news was that when I grimaced and questioned her in a low tone about what she had done, she slunk down to the end of the hallway and wouldn't look at me, so at least she knew that what she did was wrong. 

Either that or she went down there to hide her face so that I wouldn't be able to see her laughing at me and my  'pack leader' skills.... 

Tonight's episode was very funny what with all of the zingers flying, especially those directed at Danielle and all her drama.  What a vindictive little girl she is though!  And whoa...!  What about Gabrielle?  I know that Carlos wasn't the ideal husband but...ouch!  Having that guy in her bed when he brought her in breakfast was just wrong.  My favorite part of tonight, though, was watching the preview for next week when Lynette goes all 'Cops' on 'Crazies' door, kicking it in and yelling "ding dong!".  I can't wait for that one...I love Lynette...she's so real.  

Every year I buy apples in the fall, fully intent on making lots of yummy apple desserts like pies, crisps, whatever. And every year, I procrastinate and find a million other things to do until eventually, I have bags full of mushy apples which only the fruit flies find appealing, and then end up tossing the whole lot out into the trash.  So, when my day at the orchard a couple of weeks ago hadn't gone as planned, I wasn't really that upset that we hadn't come home with any apples, because, after all...did I really think that this year would be any different then the past ones? 

But then, I started really wishing that I did have some apples on hand, you know, so that I could at least have the option of letting them rot or not.  It got so bad that when I was at the grocery store the other day, I couldn't resist picking up a cute little paper bag of locally grown apples.  At least it's not the ginormous sized bag that I usually got from the orchard, I justified with myself.  Being that it was a smaller bag, I probably wouldn't feel so bad when I had to throw it out.

Now, just so you don't think that I'm a terrible mother and don't just give my kids the apples to eat, I do, I really do!  But C doesn't like apples all that much and Ang has braces so it's a process for her to eat them.  Instead, those two usually opt for grapes or strawberries or bananas when given a choice of fruits.  Am, on the other hand, loves apples.  But lets face it, she can only eat so many.

Anyway, it must have been a sign, because as I strolled past the refrigerated section at the grocery store, I noticed that Pillsbury had their pre-made pie dough on sale, plus, I had a coupon for it, which the store doubled...how could I refuse!  I was getting pretty close to this pie making thing!

Now, I know what some of you are saying..."Ewww!  Store bought pie crust?"  But PEOPLE...remember who you're dealing with here.  Remember that I am the Queen of Pie Procrastination, so anything that I can do to get the ball rolling and maybe get an actual pie baked is sooo worth it...even if the crust does end up tasting like crap.

So, I was home this afternoon when I found myself with a couple of hours to kill before having to start dinner and instead of doing laundry or vacuuming or doing any one of a million other things I found myself thinking..."Hmmm, I wonder if maybe I should go try to find one of many unused apple pie recipes and just see what I'll need.  But first, I decided to pull out the Pillsbury Pie Crust Dough and see what it was all about.

That's when I noticed something printed on the box that I hadn't noticed before.  It said:

'Spice Packet Inside'

Say What???

That's when I got all excited because I realized, not only had they already prepared the crust for me...but they had mixed up a perfect little packet of cinammon, nutmeg and whatever the hell else I would have had to have dug in my cabinets for!

So, fifteen minutes later, after unrolling the dough, preparing my apples and tossing them with some sugar, lemon juice and 'the spice packet', all I had to do was fill the pie, fiddle with the top crust and pop it in the oven...

Yes, you read correctly... I MADE ME A PIE!

 

 

And I totally would have taken a picture of it before it got all cut into if I hadn't forgotten to put my pie-spillage-protector- thingy under the pan so that during the last ten minutes of baking, it wouldn't totally leak all over the bottom of my oven.  Causing the entire house to fill up with horrible smelling smoke, instead of the cinammon-y smell of fresh baked apple pie.  Ah well, baby steps..

The best part was...the crust was awesome!  Yes, it truly was, as was the rest of the pie.  My husband was raving about it.

Of course, being that his favorite dessert in the world is pie, and I never make any, he may have just been trying to show how grateful he was...

Whatever. 

So, I've decided that I really need to step-it-up on this blogging thing.  Especially since I've only been posting on the weekends, which was not my original intent.  And I really don't know why it's happening. 

Yeah, okay...I'm lying.  Big time.  I admit it.  I know exactly why I don't write during the week.  It's because of all of YOU!  Yeah, you read that right...you.

Because, frankly, I have so many other people's blogs on my favorite/have-to-check-daily/if-not-several-times- daily list, that by the time I wade my way through all of their posts, I have absolutely no time to devote to my own senseless ramblings.

So, starting Monday, I'm going to start something new.  I'm going to quickly browse the posts when I first sit down at my computer in the morning, read what's there (and try to resist reading all of the comments, which most times takes longer then reading the post itself) and if someone hasn't posted yet, I'll just have to catch their post the next morning.  That's right!  I'm going for moderation.  That'll be a tough one for me, I'll let you know how it goes.

The other thing I need to stop doing is making almost every post about Ang.  That's going to be a hard one because she gives me so much material to work with!  And of course, the fact that she always lets me take her picture doesn't hurt either.

I just don't want my other kids to ever think that I post about her all of the time because I like her best, or anything.  Because I don't.  As a matter of fact...sometimes I like her least.  (Just kiddin' there Ang!)  Of course, I love them all the same...just in different ways and at different times!  And right now?  I don't even have to worry about any of them thinking anything about this blog...because none of them even know about it!

So...seeing that it's not yet Monday.  And...seeing that my kids won't be reading this so the other two won't feel slighted, I'm going to post yet another little photo series of Ang, who went for her checkup today.  (Notice that I got my camera back!)

That one picture is of the questionare that they have the kids fill out when they become 'adolescents'.  She was laughing as she filled it out because for her innocent self, so many of the questions are just crazy.  (The ones about sex and drugs, etc.)  I hope they stay crazy to her for a looonnnggg time!

But, being the jokester that she is...the last question asked,

"If you could change one thing about your life or yourself, what would it be?"  And she writes:

"I would want my toenail to grow back."

Because, ewww, she managed to rip off one of her big toe nails over the summer in a freak stubbing, plus getting stepped on and then a re-stubbing accident.

So we cracked up when she wrote it down because no one ever notices that it's missing because she paints the skin with whatever color nail polish she's wearing...and it doesn't bother her at all.

 

The worst part was, the doctor asked me to step out of the room while she examined her...and then looked at the sheet Ang had filled out and discussed the whole 'toenail' thing with her..and Ang went right along with it, and never told her that she had just been joking.

Sometimes I wonder where this child came from... 

 

 

 

Up to this point, I've always (well mostly always) had a visual or two (or ten) to go with my commentary.  But not this weekend.  Why?  Well, maybe it's because I almost always keep my camera in my purse but recently...Ang has been 'jackin' my camera and not returning it to where it belongs!  This is why you won't get the pleasure of seeing my very p,o.'d face when, on Friday night, Ang and her BF K kept changing their intended plans...every 15 min. or so until I was just about ready to blow and scream "NO!  NOW YOU GO NOWHERE!"  Because I hate, hate, hate the fact that they never seem to be the ones dictacting the plans.  And how they are always the ones who are just going along with everyone elses' plans, no matter how many times they seem to change.  Plus, I had my step-son coming over to visit post-surgery 'Husband-of-Mine' and he was visiting around dinner time so....yeah, I had to actually have some sort of dinner prepared. 

So, Ang and K come home from school and the (original) plan was that everyone (in the world, apparently) was going to the movies together to see The Grudge 2.  Okay, fine.  That 'fine' was my assuming that they (the whole world) were going to the 7:30 showing.  But suddenly, after ten phone calls, it seemed that they (the whole word) were in fact going to the 9:35 showing.  Which is when I was all "Oh, hell no...!  Because all I could picture was me having to drive  an hour (round trip) to drop them off, (which would entail our having to leave our house at around 8:15 so they could get there early to ensure that the show wouldn't be sold out) and then making another hour long (round trip) trek back to pick them up, and we wouldn't get back until somewhere around going on midnight and...come on!...I was already tired, what would I be like at that hour?  (And to all of you who are saying to yourselves, 'What's the big deal?  You never post anything until after midnight anyway!"  I only have two words for you...SHUT UP) 

BUT, by some miracle, my daughter springs a "how far is so-and-so theater from us?" at the last minute, and, as it turned out to be the same mileage away, but in the opposite direction, and it started at 8:10, I was all, OKAY, I'll take you there...final offer.  So, apparently, everyone was able to secure rides to the same show. 

So,  dropped them off at the theater but I wasn't sure if they were sold out yet (because...remember?  The whole world is seeing the movie this weekend!  Duh!) but I waited around back where they have this whole glass enclosed exit and you can get a clear view of the lobby and the ticket lines and the snack bar.  ANYWAY, since I had a clear view of them exiting the ticket purchase line but I had NO IDEA of whether or not they had actually been able to purchase tickets, I tried calling Ang on her cell.  But, apparently, we have bad service in that particular area because it kept going right to her voicemail (hate, hate, hate that!). 

So, as I could see her inside the lobby (from my car), she could not see me outside (since it was dark) and I'm so sure that she didn't expect me to be stalking her from afar (which I wouldn't have been doing except for the fact that I wasn't sure whether or not the show was sold out and I didn't want to have to double back after I had already reached home!), I was able to see her meet up with her other friends. Which is when I noticed (immediately) that one of her friends, put his arm around her shoulders.  And, as I watched for a few more minutes (yes, alright!  I was so cursing the car that had pulled up in front of me, paritally blocking my view.  Want to make something of it?) as she was walking towards her girlfriends, he put his arm down around her waist.  OH WHAT?  Which lastest only about a minute, because then she was off in one direction to talk to her friends and he was off in another direction to hang with his.

BUT, you can be sure, because I am so (okay, not) the coolest mom around, I couldn't resist trying to call her one last time on her cell.  And, it was a miracle...it actually went through.  

Me: "Hey, were you able to get tickets?"

Ang: "Yeah, we're good."

Me: "Okay, great.  Who's there?"

Ang: "Um, a bunch of people"

Me: "Okay." (And now unable to control my 'gotta know' disorder..)

       "So, who was that guy with his arm around you?"

Ang :  "WHAT?"

Me:  "The guy...who is he?"

Ang: "Mom?  What?"

Me:  "The. Guy. Who. Had. His. Arm. Around. You.  WHOWASHE??"

Ang:  "Oh!  He's just one of my BFFLs! (Pronounced: 'Biffles') (Which, translated, means 'Best Friends For Life'.)

          See...I really am a cool Mom because I know these things.  Ahem.       

Me: "Oh. (Clearly not expecting that answer)  I don't remember hearing of him before."

Ang: "That's because I just met him last weekend at homecoming..duh!  Just kidding...love you Mommy.."

Me: "Oh, okay...you just met him last weekend and already he's a biffle?

Ang : "Got to go Mom, we have to go get a seat,. Love ya 'G'!"

Me:  "Yeah, go ahead..love you too...just behave, 'kay?"

But the phone was already disconnected, and I could see her heading off with her girlfriends...with no (male) BFFL in sight, but then again, my sight was limited from my spot in the parking lot (thanks again black car partially blocking my view!).

And I sat there another minute because...I remembered what it was like to be fourteen.  And I want her to have her freedom.  But then again, I know what's out there these days.  And I know that what's out there now is a lot worse than what was out there when I was growing up.  But I can still smile.  And still maybe relax a bit.  Because I also know that what she (at fourteen) and 'C' (at just turning seventeen) are doing, and what I had been doing at their at their ages are very different things. 

Thank God for that.

I LOVE Stephen King.  Really, I do.  No, not in that lustful, I want to screw him way.  But more in that, he's been with me faithfully for sooo many years, way.  Seriously.  I've been reading him since I was barely a teenager and I haven't stopped.  I've honestly bought and read every single book he's written.  I'm not even sure which one I read first.  Whatever it was, it hooked me in.

Which is why I'm very excited that he has a new book coming out this month. 

I'll bet you that if I had had one of his books during my 'waiting room from hell' experience...I probably would have had no problem blocking out the Happy Hour Girls. :)

 

McDreamy and McVetdude becoming McFriendly?  Get. Out.  And McSteamy and Calli?  Oh. No.  And Izzy?  (Formerly known as a Surgeon, Formerly/-formerly known as a model)  Becoming the 'Eight(+) Million Dollar Girl'?? (Not that she even knows it yet!)  But the best was the 'stoned' Meredith...we love her so...especially when she's brutally (even while under the influence) honest! ("All my boys are here!")

Condensed version of the day:

-Woke up to find Ang. standing in my doorway saying "Why didn't wake you me up?"

-Freaked out running around to get everyone up and ready while I threw together lunches, threw on my clothes and brushed my teeth (Poor C.: "Wake up! I overslept and we're late!  Oh, and Happy Birthday! by the way")

-Watched C. run across the lawn to catch the bus.

-Watched Ang. miss the bus.

-Woke up Am. telling her to hurry and finish getting dressed in the living room so she can let the neighbor girl inside (who we take to the bus with us), since I had to drive Ang. to school (Poor Am.: "And don't go to the bathroom until after she comes because if you're in there, you won't hear her at the door!", I yelled to her while running out the door)

-Drove Ang. to school

-Came home and showered and dressed quickly and got the girls up to the bus stop in time

-Walked/jogged dog around block

-Back home to eat breakfast (feeling guilty since 'Husband of Mine' couldn't eat before his surgery) and scan the paper

-Head out to the hospital

-Answer cell phone half way to hospital to hear that Ang. has major cramps and needs to come home (the school is in the total opposite direction of the hospital, of course)

-Drop 'Husband of Mine' at the hospital entrance (feeling like crap) "I'll be back!", I shout cheerily, knowing that he's smiling back at me while simultaneously grinding his teeth together. 

-Race back towards the school to discover the traffic back-up from hell complete with police lights and ambulances

-Take a side road away from the action but have no idea where I'm going

-Drive and drive and drive through one unfamiliar street after another until, by some miracle, I come out near somewhere I know

-Arrive at school, circle for parking, check in at the front booth, show my i.d., get my visitor's pass

-Sign Ang. out at the nurse

-Sign out again at the attendance office

-Return visitor's pass to booth

-Make Ang. run out to car, crampness and all

-Fly home with her...go in myself to use the bathroom (as usual)

-Speed back to the hospital, sure that they've already taken him in and I again feel terrible for not having been there to kiss him before they knock him out

-Curse at having to find a spot in the huge parking garage and then (aha!) see that they have valet parking

-Jump out of my car at the curb but then remember to ask "Do I pay now or later?" (Seeing as how I had absolutely $0.00 cash on me...'Husband of Mine' had cash inside, with him.)

-Practically hug the guy when he says pay later

-Run over to elevators which. take. forever. to move between floors

-Go flying into the waiting room and inquire about 'Husband of Mine'

-Good news, they haven't taken him in yet

-Follow nurse down to his prep room, "oh wait, they're putting in his i.v., go back and sit and I'll come get get you when they're done"

-Half an hour later, I decide to go find him since no one came to get me

-Kiss him goodbye and off they take him (Oh, and I tried to get a pic. of him with his puffy blue head covering but he refused to cooperate (sheesh...).  I'm sure that it nothing to do with the fact that I told him that he looked like one of the lunch ladies at the middle school, only his mustache is nicer...)

-Return to the huge waiting room where it's me and three other people (all over the age of 70, I'd say) and I try to concentrate on my book, I really do!  But the t.v. is blaring (I guess that they assume that most of the patient's here have a bit of hearing loss) and so, keeping in line with my (self) diagnosed ADD, I find myself unable to read more than a page or two of my book (which is a really good book, by the way) before I realize that I've been distracted by the very loud Judge Joe Brown.  I've never watched him before and I really tried hard not to today but...with the 'riveting' case brought before him, I kept finding myself drawn back to the screen, time and time again.  After all, he was going off on Tanisha because she must have known that her "devil spawn" of a dog would absolutely end up eating the neighbors Yorkie. "Let me tell you, girl..." seemed to be his 'phrase of the day'.  I was so happy when eventually one of the nurses/receptionists changed the channel to some soap opera and turned down the volume and I was left to concentrate on my book.  Except that, I think that they only turned down the volume so that they could have an easier conversation amongst themselves.  I don't know how many nurses/receptionists were behind that desk but 'let me tell you, girl', it sounded like happy hour on a Friday night back there.  I actually thought that they forgot that I was there, as I was kind of in a hidden corner of the room, but one of the girls came walking by and smiled at me at one point before going back to join the two-for-one gossip girls without missing a beat.  Seriously!  They talked about everything from "I got my haircut yesterday and...blah, blah...feel it! My hair is soo thin" to "Feel mine!  It's sooo thick...blah, blah." to "Did you talk to that "Mrs. Smith* yesterday?  What a bitch!  She was all...blah, blah, and I was all blah, blah..." to " How much money did we collect for so-and-so?  What are you getting her?  A sex toy?  Haaahaaahaaaha!"  And on and on and on...and I could hear it all.  And not by straining.  Like, it was so loud that once again, I couldn't concentrate on my book!  And then, the t.v. was turned completely off and I was left there, really, really trying to read my good book when...horror of horrors...the second shift arrived.  And apparently, they have a layover gap where the entire first shift and the entire second shift are back there together because OMG...it was loud.  And everyone was talking over everyone else and I was seriously getting a headache.  And then an angel came to me and said "You can come back and see "Husband of Yours" now.  Phew.

-Walk back with the nurse towards recovery and joke "Is he grumpy since he hasn't been able to eat all day?" And she replies, "Oh, is that why he's like he is?"  Only she doesn't seem to be joking like I was.  Oh snap.  And then she adds, "He sure doesn't want to be here!"  Where I comeback, laughing, "yeah, well who does?" but inside I'm thinking (as opposed to 'outside I'm thinking') "what is he putting these nurses through?" and "hopefully, it's just the anesthesia".  So, I go see him, he's in a recliner, dressed, in front of a window and after we kiss hello he's all, "I'm ready to go" and he's totally coherant and not in a bit of pain and really does just want to leave.  But the nurses insist that he must have some ginger ale and crackers, to make sure that he can swallow okay (although, they were no where in sight when he ate/drank them, so if he had been choking to death, not sure what I would have been able to do to help...)

-He's finally released and I go down first to get the car from my valet guy and they're going to meet me down there since he has to be brought down in a wheelchair (hospital policy), which my 'manly-type, never sick' husband is thrilled about.

-So, I'm at the front desk, getting change for the valet guy because all I could scap from 'Husband of Mine' was a twenty and valet guy didn't have change, when I happen to overhear an elderly man next to me say that he was coming to the hospital to visit three women (whose names I recongnized because I'm sort of related to them, through my 90-year-old grandmother) so I ask him if something was wrong with one of them and he says, "no, with all of them!"  It turns out that they were involved in a very bad accident on their way to work the day before and were all in the hospital with broken ribs, pelvises, etc.  The kicker is that these women are all sisters, and all in their upper eighties and nineties!  They own a bridal shop and go to work every single day (except Sunday) and live in their own house and entertain people regularly.  And they drive.  And, the worst part is?  The accident wasn't even their fault.  I felt terrible and asked their friend (as he turned out to be) about what had happened.  Anyway, by the time I was done talking to him I was like "Oh shit!" and ran out front to find 'Husband of Mine' sitting in a wheelchair on the sidewalk with a nurses aide and my valet guy waiting there for me with the car.  If  'H.o.M' doesn't divorce me after this...it'll be a miracle.

* Who was not, in fact, Mrs. Smith, but her name has been changed to protect a woman who was probably subjected to the same ramblings in which I was.

 

And yes, I swear...this really was the condensed version! (ugh) 

So, Husband-Of-Mine is going to the hospital tomorrow (today, actually, seeing that it's 1:30 a.m.!) for a same-day-surgical procedure.  He has to have a hernia repaired.  That he's been walking around with for the past...ohh...let's say, probably, SEVEN MONTHS!  But...he's now having it taken care of, which of course, is what's important.  (Especially since I can't be one to talk!)  I'm off to bed because I have to get up at 6:20 to get all of the kids off to school before we head off to the hospital.  I sooo wish that I had a laptop with wireless internet.  I'll just have to bring my camera along instead and piss off all of the sick people at the hospital with my picture taking.  I'll also bring a book, of course, but if there's anything distracting going on, we all know that I won't be able to concentrate on the book.  (And I wonder how my son could possibly have been diagnosed with ADD.)

Anyway...stay tuned...